About Grief and Therapy for Grief

What is grief or loss?

While the answer may seem obvious, loss is a deeply personal experience. Death is often the first thing that comes to mind, and with approximately 3 million deaths each year in the United States, it is a significant source of grief that affects people in both small and profound ways. However, grief and loss are not limited to the death of a loved one. People can grieve the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of their youth, the death of a pet, or the impact of a disabling injury or illness. Ultimately, if you have lost someone or something that mattered deeply to you, the resulting grief can feel overwhelming or even debilitating, and sometimes it's not even conscious. Grief can be accompanied by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which makes the coping process even more difficult.

What do the symptoms of grief and loss look like?

There is no single “right” way to grieve, and each person responds to loss differently. It's a common misconception that something is "wrong with you" if your grief doesn't end after a certain period of time. Some people suppress their emotions, while others feel immobilized by the intensity of their grief, making daily functioning difficult. That said, there are common experiences associated with grief, including:

• Feelings of depression
• Frequent crying
• Numbness or shock
• A feeling of dissociation, of being "unreal".
• Loneliness and social withdrawal
• Extreme tiredness
• Guilt
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Increased use of drugs or alcohol
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

Losing a friend or partner is often a deeply traumatic experience. When grief becomes complicated, as it often is, healing can feel even more elusive and overwhelming.

Complicated loss and grief may include:

• Guilt over feeling a sense of relief after someone has passed following a long or chronic illness.
• The pain of divorce, the discovery of infidelity, or a rupture in the family.
• Self-blame and persistent “what ifs” following the suicide of a partner or family member.
• Profound loneliness after surviving an event that claimed another person’s life.

How does therapy help with grief and loss?

People often describe the healing process as “working through” or “processing” their grief, that is, gradually coming to understand and give meaning to the loss and feeling painful emotions. From a psychoanalytic, self-psychological perspective, grief is not only about loss itself, but about how that loss disrupts one’s sense of self, continuity, and emotional balance. I help individuals not only cope with the pain that follows a loss, but also restore a sense of cohesion through empathic understanding, acceptance, emotional integration, and giving meaning to the experience. Over time, this work can allow for letting go or reframing the experience, so that memories no longer evoke only pain but can become sources of warmth, connection, and enduring meaning.

I offer a thoughtful, safe space to explore your emotional experiences and the impact of the loss on your sense of self. Therapy focuses not only on practical ways of managing difficult feelings, but also on restoring stability, meaning, and emotional continuity in your life. While nothing can undo a loss, psychotherapy can play a vital role in how the loss is understood, integrated, and carried forward over time.

For information about trauma please see: Information on Trauma